Disgusting the Canceled Jack Black Green Lantern Film.

 

Disgusting the Canceled Jack Black  Green Lantern Film. 

Now we all know that in 2011 Ryan Reynolds starred in Green Lantern and this was a film that was really bad because it made Jordan AKA Green Lantern a comedic character but believe it or not the film was going to be far far dumber than the one that we ended up getting. So let's dive in into the now canceled Jack Black's Green Lantern. 

Now originally the storyline was going to be about this guy Judd Platt yep that was the character's name it wasn't how Jordan or guy Garner it was Judd Platt and this guy was supposed to work at a furniture Store with his friend named Seth and then Judd go that side and see a spaceship crash down in the dying pilot was Abin Sur. Who tells him to become Green Lantern and the ring picks him and apparently rather than being responsible Judd was going to use the ring to make his life easier by trying to Careem to go on date with him and she does. Then he was supposed to go to OA with the rest of the Green Lanterns which included Tomra Ray- Kilwag and Sinestro who in this film was supposed to be a pretty boy which means he was a neat freak. Then they trained him by using Muppet style characters to explain how the ring works. Then Sonestro turns on them and wants to conquer Earth and destroy it with Pikachu and It is up to Judd Platt to become Green Lantern. Now I have to say this storyline might have been dumber than Thornland and Thunder because Thor Love and Thunder  had some ridiculous things throughout that film. But somehow this storyline was going to be far far more dumber than the storyline we got in Thor Love and Thunder. 

Casting- now the actor that they were going to use for Green Lantern is Jack Black I got to say that would have been the dumbest superhero casting choice of all time to be honest it might have rivaled George Clooney's Batman in terms of the dumbest cast Choice ever because Jack Black is not a bad actor Now this is going to be a weird idea and as bad as it would be I would say Kumail Nanjiani I would able to take more seriously because he's skinnier. To be honest I think other actors like Paul Rudd, Ke Huy Quan, Coleman Domingo, Jeremy Renner, even Harrison Ford as Dumb as it would be. At least I could take all these actors seriously as Green Lantern. But Jack Black is way too fat to be Green Lantern and you won't be able to take his performance seriously because of how goofy and silly he would be as the character. Plus I don't think I can take Jack Black seriously in a Green Lantern suit. It'll just look really weird and really dumb. 

Green Lantern- Now let's talk about the character of Green Lantern now the guy that was going to become Green Lantern was not Hal Jordan. It was actually going to be Judd Platt and he was supposed to be betrayed as a complete idiot, a complete jackass. So imagine if Randy from South Park became a Green Lantern and acted like a complete idiot. That's basically what you get because this guy would have eaten coyote heads. He would have cracked a lot of dumb jokes then to be honest I think it would have been a million times more dumber than Thor was and Thor love and thunder and you all know how much I hated what the MCU did to Thor. But I think this would have been far dumber than anything that the MCU has ever done to their main characters. There was going to be a scene of him watching Muppet Like characters singing an educational song about the Green Lantern rain and that would have been so dumb. To be honest I don't think you could take this interpretation of Green Lantern because of how much of an idiot he would be throughout the film. Also to be honest I think this character would have been far dumber than smart Hulk from the MCU and you all know how much I hated that in Avengers endgame I thought that was really weird. Also again they'll just betray Green Lanterns like Randy Marsh again this is like Randy got the Great Lantern ring and acted like a complete jackass That's essentially what Green Lantern would have been like in this film. Then there's going to be a scene during the climax of Green Lantern where he's going to lie himself on fire and barf on people which would have been so dumb. 

Kilowog- Nike would have been the same like he was in the comics in terms of training Hal Jordan like in the comics. But he was going to be like a frat boy like Judd Platt´s friend and just be a complete clown the entire movie and that's not what Kilowog is about to be. He's supposed to be like a smart-ass, kind of like the thing from Fantastic Four like a tough guy. But in this film he was going to be a joke ster throughout the film and just be a complete weirdo who enjoys partying and dating women and that would have been really dumb. There's going to be a scene where Kilowog uses a machine gun and then Green Lantern aka Judd Platt was going to block the bullets by using Green secret servants agents which would have been really dumb and really weird. 

Sinestro- Now for some weird reason in this version of the film Sinestro was going to be a net freak and a pretty boy because apparently he didn't want to be dirty he wants to stay clean and perfect and then he turns bad and tries to destroy everyone on Earth. So with this film Sinestro was going to be the villain. But it'll still be stupid because Sinestro is not a pretty boy, he's just pure evil. Also the way he gets defeated was going to be dumb I wish I made this up but apparently I'm not even joking he was about to get defeated when Green Lantern conjured up an imperfect variant of Sinestro who is ugly who is wrinkled Apparently the Imperfect variant of Sinestro was going to like what Gunk into the original Sinestro´s mouth and rip his hair off Yeah I'm not making here that's about to be the big climactic battle against Green Lantern and Sinestro and it would have been really stupid. Even if they did get someone like Mark Strong, the script will give him jack shit to do. To be honest I think this might be worse than Mr Freeze in Batman Robin in terms of taking a really great character and making him dumb because you all know that Mr Freeze is known to be the worst comic to movie adaptations of a Batman villain ever. But I think this variant of Sinestro would have been dumber. Not to mention you want to know how Sinestro was going to be defeated in this movie and I wish I was joking about this. Apparently he was going to get beaten up by a bunch of baby yellow birds. Yeah and I'm not even kidding here that was the climatic battle against Green Lantern and Sinestro and it would have been a million times worse than the scene in Ant-Man And The Wasp Quantum Mania where Kang get attacked by ants and you all know how much I think that is the dumbest moments in the Ant-Man Trilogy. But this would have been far far worse because at least with the scene of Kang getting beaten up by ants at least it's relevant to the story this would have been like the movie watching you over the head with a hammer with its stupidity. 

The Muppet scene- now originally They're supposed to be a scene of Judd Platt Aka Green Lantern Watching a puppet show of Muppets explaining the Green Lanterns power ring and yeah I am not kidding that was literally a scene that was going to happen this movie and They could have made it more dumber if they tried because this scene would have rivaled all of the jokes and Thor love and thunder in terms of its stupidity. Also again you all know how much I think Thor Love And Thunder has some really bad jokes. But somehow The Muppet scene would make every dumb MCU joke in Thor Love and Thunder. It looks like the humor in the Deadpool movies. That is how bad The Muppet scene would have been in this film.

The WTF final battle- Now the climax in this movie was going to be so fucking dumb because Sinestro he's about to destroy Planet Earth by using Pikachu yeah I wish I was Kidding the climax was supposed to be Judd Platt Aka Green Lantern Trying to take down a giant Pikachu and saving all of humanity by conjuring up Superman and have him spin around The Earth to reverse time to have the giant Pikachu move away from Earth Which causes a couple of earthquakes and that's when Greenlantern was going to lie himself on fire and Barf on People attacking each other And no I'm not even fucking kidding now it's about to be the climax and then Sonestro gets defeated he gets put on trial in the movie ends with With Judd Platt going to OA with his girlfriend Careem. To be honest this would have been the dumbest climax of any comic book film and you won't know how much I think the climax in Thor Love and the Thunder is ridiculous with all the children fight all those monsters but somehow this climax would have been far far more dumber than the climax in that film because at least despite how silly the climax in Thor Love And Thunder was I was at least entertained by. But this I'm going to tell you I don't think I will last a minute in that theater if I saw The final battle. I would literally say fuck this movie I'm out of here. That's how dumb the climax would have been. Also again Sinestro getting beaten up by baby birds I can't get that thought out of my head without saying what the fuck would that supposed to be. To be honest I think this would have been one of the worst climaxes out of any comic book movie ever made.

Conclusion- To be honest it's actually quite fascinating that we almost got a Green Lantern movie That was going to be more dumber than Batman and Robin because a lot of stuff that they were going to do would have been really fucking ridiculous. Especially that whole Muppet scene with them singing an educational song about how the Green Lantern ring works that would go down as well the dumbest comic book movie moments of all time. Also the acting would have been really bad especially from Jack Black who would just be playing himself again. I don't think you could take Jack Black seriously as Green Lantern or a comic book character in general.  Now this is going to be a weird idea and as bad as it would be I would say Kumail Nanjiani I would be able to take him more seriously because he's skinnier. To be honest I think other actors like Paul Rudd, Ke Huy Quan, Coleman Domingo, Jeremy Renner, even Harrison Ford as Dumb as it would be. At least I could take all these actors seriously as Green Lantern. Also the jokes would have been dumber than the jokes in Thor Love and Thunder and you all know how much I think the jokes in Thor Love and Thunder are so dumb and ridiculous.  But somehow this movie we're going to have a worse jokes than that film. because the film would just constantly bash you over the head with its stupidity Also the character of Sinestro was going to be a pretty boy which that would have been so ridiculous I think it would have surpassed Arnold's Mr freeze from Batman and Robin in terms of stupidity because making Sinestro a pretty boy is so fucking ridiculous because they just would have made him into a dumb comedic villain. Also the action sequences would have been really bad especially with that final battle where Sinestro gets beaten up by baby fucking yellow birds and yes it is surprisingly dumber than the scene in Ant-Man And The Wasp Quantum Mania  where Kang gets beaten up by ants. But somehow again having baby yellow birds beat up Sinestro and it'll go down with the dumbest climax of any comic book Film and again the whole thing of Green Lantern using the ring to create Superman to fly in Reverse to save the world would have been really dumb and so ridiculous. Also the character of Judd Platt was going to be a complete idiot. He will go into the ring to make his life easier so it's basically as if Randy Marsh from South Park got the Green Lantern ring and being a complete jackass using it for stupid shit and attention. Although apparently during the climax Green Lantern lighting himself on fire and barfing on people which would have been so stupid and I don't think anyone wants to  see Green Lantern throw up in general it'll just be so stupid and so ridiculous. Now I will say this I am so happy that we got the 2011 Green Lantern movie because that's bad at that one it could have been worse we could have gotten this interpretation of the film with Jack Black as Green Lantern barfy on someone so in general again it is fascinating how we almost got a more dumber variation of the Green Lantern film just with a different actor. So this was really fun to discuss this really weird and really dumb variation of the Green Lantern film that was going to Star Jack Black.